Ah, bienvenue, dear connoisseurs of the quotidian! Allow me to introduce myself: I am Truman, your devoted Shower Sommelier, curator of life’s most exquisite bathing pairings, purveyor of olfactory indulgence, and master of elevating the mundane into the magnificent. Where others see a mere shower or bath, I divine a symphony of scent, sensation, and soul — transforming your daily rinse into an experience worthy of the grandest champagne toast.

I — with the utmost pomposity and affection — match bath and body treasures to the nuances of your day: whether braving a tedious Zoom gauntlet, recovering from a child’s glitter-laden birthday bash, or simply savoring a quiet evening alone. This is not mere hygiene, my dear — this is ritual, this is self-care elevated, this is showering as performance art. Prepare to luxuriate and explore.